Tiny, Drunk Dancer
by Avenginghunters
Summary: Jim Kirk gets a bit drunk just before his jam comes on. Spock is not amused.


_Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band_

The crew grinned immediately as a shout rang out across the barroom. The place wasn't a dive, but it wasn't the best place on planet to lose yourself in, and James T. Kirk had definitely lost himself.

_But oh how it feels so real_

They'd seen him try to crowd surf 3 times already during the faster songs, and if he weren't so damn charming and good looking then the bartender would have ordered him thrown out after attempt number two, but as it was he was good for business and was about to blow a good chunk of his paycheck on drinks for the ladies watching him reeling all over the dance floor. Add in one of the captain's guilty pleasures, the song Tiny Dancer, and Bones was readying his first-aid kit for the good chance that whoever Jim chose to dance with was going to sock him a good one.

His unfortunate victim, First officer Spock. Spock was standing at the bar, observing his occasionally obnoxious Captain make a fool out of himself and drink away a night which would have been better spent looking out at the beautiful landscape that rested just outside the city.

"Spock, buddy. Get the stick out of your ass and get out here." Jim fell drunkenly into Spock's unsuspecting arms and held on tight to the Vulcan, pulling him into the small circle the dance floor had provided for them. Multiple cat-calls brought a green blush to Spock's cheeks nearly visible even in the darkness of the dance floor. Everybody watched the famous Starfleet officers in awe.

"Hold me closer tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highwayyyyy." Jim's singing was slurred and nearly indecipherable. He pulled himself up and placed his forearms on Spock's shoulder, placing nearly all of his weight on the first officer.

"Captain Kirk I don't-", Spock jumped as Jim raised his head and whispered into Spock's ear. It might have been a whisper to a drunk, but it was screaming to anyone sensible enough not to drink foreign alcohol without any information outside of a name and color.

"Lay me down in sheets of linen. You had a busy day today." The sexual innuendo within the lyric he 'whispered' into Spock's ear made Jim giggle and begin twirling Spock drunkenly around and laughing at the man's obvious discomfort.

Chekov wiggled through the crowd with a small camera he usually used to document the local wildlife and snapped a picture of the slow dance turned drunken ballet and ran quickly off before Spock could snatch the device.

Spock tried to pry Jim's hands from around his neck and straighten his mussed uniform, but Jim held tighter than Spock ever thought possible, and only released when the last strained sounds of the last chorus were barely audible over the cheering crowd and hooting enterprise crew.

Spock dutifully led Jim to the bathroom to puke up the alien alcohol and stayed. He knew Jim had experience in back alley dives and shady clubs, but he was a Starfleet officer and Spock didn't want an interplanetary incident sullying their reputation.

"I love you, Spock" Jim yelled loudly before retching blue vomit into the already brutalized toilet.

"Lord almighty Spock you better get him home before you're forced to marry." Scotty teased.

Spock waited until Jim was mostly done vomiting and helped him back to the quarters Starfleet set up for him before returning to his own, and wondered vaguely what he saw in James T. Kirk.

~~~~~~~~~Christmas Time~~~~~~~~~

"Look lad I know you don't celebrate Christmas, but you've got to get a look at Jim's Christmas Card." Scotty pulled the wrinkled envelope out of his uniform pocket and gave it to Spock. He opened it uneasily. He had learned to expect the unexpected with Captain Kirk, and he was not surprised.

Emblazoned on the front of the card, digitally enhanced with concerns for lighting was a picture of a very inebriated Captain Kirk hanging all over Spock, a slight green tinge to his normal color. Hats resembling the Earth legend Santa's were added on both of them for a seasonal effect that made Spock nearly nauseous.

Spock looked stoically upward before speaking to Scotty.

"Please tell Ensign Chekov that I'd like to have a word about disseminating photos without the permission of all parties." A loud squeak came from the bridge. Likely Chekov already knew.


End file.
